Third Ruck From the Son

A great book does not necessarily make a great movie. Catch 22 is probably the seminal piece of literature of the twentieth century (if we choose to overlook Derek McGovern on Sports Betting); yet the film was a major disappointment. Somewhat conversely, I found George Orwell’s tale of Soviet totalitarianism quite heavy going, but I must have watched Animal Farm 17 times.

One story that is absolutely crying out for the transfer to celluloid is the life and times of Harry Redknapp. Harry has unrealistically named Ray Winstone as an ideal candidate to play the leading role; i’d have cast Timothy Spall. I have it on good authority that Spall would consider any offer, so I’m knocking up a script entitled ‘The buying, the twitch and the hoard probe.’

Harry is still understandably seething after the police raided his home at the crack of dawn. Harry can consider himself fortunate that it wasn’t the West Midlands filth who were on the case, as he’d probably have been charged with 47 crimes. I feel like I’m stitching up the bookmakers by taking 6/5 for a Villa win over Pompey.

I was a little perturbed when I read that the Liverpool supporters were right behind Rafa Benitez; I thought it was a prelude to a carjacking. Fernando Torres has already bagged a hat-trick at the Madejski this season; the Spanish sensation can lead the Pool to another win over Reading at 8/11.

Steve Gibson should accept some responsibility for the dire state of English football. If the imperturbable chairman had the nouse to sack floundering managers at the appropriate juncture, the England supporters would be packing their balaclavas next summer. Gibson is once again supporting an incompetent incumbent: Arsenal will hammer home the message at 8/15.

I couldn’t understand the furore surrounding Robbie Keane’s dismissal against Birmingham last week. For me, there’s nothing wrong with ‘4th official consultation’, or ‘Dowd syndrome’ as it will hopefully be labelled. Manchester City have lost their last three matches at White Hart Lane and Elano is a serious doubt: 6/5 for Spurs is practically a gift.

Everton are a confident call at home to the travelsick Fulham. The Cottagers have never won a league match at Goodison Park in their history, and their six Premier League visits have earned them a total of zero points. I’d sooner leave my grandmother unsupervised with Wayne Rooney than miss out on the Toffeemen at 3/5.

David Bentley has been likened to David Beckham. I’ve been left completely flummoxed by this comparison; i can only assume he has a girlfriend who can’t sing. I’ll be screaming like a bint if West Ham hold Blackburn to a draw at 11/4.

Apparently, prison holds no fear for Joey Barton; I guess he’s looking forward to the family reunion. I’m embracing the 10/11 for a Newcastle win over Birmingham like a long-lost law-abiding brother.

Wigan are in a real fight at the wrong end of the table, which may explain why they appointed a manager who looks like he’s gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Wigan have now gone 12 matches without a win; I’ll be punching the bag if Bolton fail to land the spoils at 11/10.

If Manchester United v Derby was a boxing match, it would never get sanctioned; unless it was a Frank Warren promotion. Fergie is always up for the fight; I just hope his Dad can follow his lead. I’ll get a few rounds in after United slam the Rams at 1/7.

When Ashley Cole retires from football, he should consider a career in the fight game. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest to see the combative defender end up in the ring. I’d advise Frank Lampard against considering pugilism though; he’d struggle to find an opponent in his weight class. You won’t have to wait too long for a return if you take 1/5 for a Chelsea win over Sunderland.

I believe Ricky Hatton can emerge victorious from his mega-fight with Floyd Mayweather. Ricky has the skill, the belief, the intensity and the heart, and even more importantly, the most talked about hook since Abu Hamza. The ‘Pretty Boy’ has an impressive record, but he struggles when opponents bring the fight to him; and Ricky will be all over him like the old bill on Harry Redknapp. For me, this is a 60/40 fight; making 9/5 about the Hitman particularly agreeable.

I had quite a respectable record when I used to fight at junior school. I remember beating up the toughest kid in Year 6: that’ll teach him for questioning last week’s accumulator. Aston Villa, Newcastle, Bolton and Tottenham form a 15/1 accer that will land a knockout blow to the bookies.

England's Pampered Soccer Players Fail Again

England fail to qualify for the Euro 2008 football tournament, with a tepid display against a technically superior Croatian team.
The premiership players were defended by a number of ex players who cited the head coach, the tactics, the pitch and injuries to key players as excuses. Others cite the number of foreign players who ply their trade in the premiership depriving English youngsters of the chance to gain experience in the world’s premier league.

The so called golden generation who are paid upwards of £100,000 a week to play in The Barclays Premiership appear to have decided that club and monitory rewards come before national pride. England have always lacked some of the more technical aspects of the game, preferring a more robust and direct style, but what England lacked in skill, they more than made up for in passion and work ethic. Sadly, the passion and work ethic has departed along with the support of many of the long suffering England fans.

The head coach Steve McClaren and his assistant Terry Venables were immediately sacked, but depart with a substantial pay off. It seems that failure can make you rich.

The position of England head coach has always been something of a poisoned chalice. However, many fans believe its time for the players to step forward and admit their shocking lack of effort and basic skills led to the humiliating defeat.

England 2-3 Croatia

England failed to qualify for Euro 2008 after losing a sensational game against Croatia at Wembley. By Jonathan Stevenson
England went 2-0 down when Scott Carson, in for Paul Robinson, fumbled Nico Kranjcar's shot into the net and then Ivica Olic slipped in a second.

Frank Lampard pulled one back from the spot after Jermain Defoe was fouled, before David Beckham, winning a 99th cap, set up Peter Crouch to level it.

But Mladen Petric fired in from 25 yards to break England's hearts.

The result will surely cost Steve McClaren his job as England manager and after such an abysmal display, he can have few complaints.

He gambled his position and England's participation on two huge selections and dropping Robinson and Beckham proved catastrophic.

Carson's performance will live long in the memory for all the wrong reasons and it may take the 22-year-old some time to recover.

When he stepped out on to the turf to warm-up and saw heavy rain making the pitch increasingly treacherous, he could have been forgiven for wishing Robinson - who was not even on the bench - had not been so unceremoniously dumped.

With eight minutes gone, he must have wanted part of the rain-sodden pitch to open up and swallow him whole.

Kranjcar found space 30 yards out and let fly with a dipping right-foot shot that bounced just in front of the keeper and Carson could only parry the ball into the roof of the net.

The stadium fell silent - and six minutes later, England's world was on the brink of collapse.

Eduardo drove at the heart of the England defence and played a cute pass into the area for Olic, the Hamburg striker coolly dribbling round a shell-shocked Carson and rolling into an empty net.

England embarrassingly appealed for offside, but Wayne Bridge and, ludicrously, Shaun Wright-Phillips - who should not have been that far back - were both clearly playing him on.

McClaren's 4-3-3 formation at the start had turned into a 4-5-1 as Crouch was left painfully isolated in attack and his flick-ons were easily dealt with by the Croatians.

The visitors could have been more than 2-0 up by the interval - Carson patting the ball down after a shot from Luka Modric only for the ball to luckily skid away, forcing Kranjcar too wide to shoot.

Booed and jeered off the pitch, McClaren had to act and he brought on Defoe and Beckham, with Gareth Barry and Wright-Phillips making way.

It barely made any difference, before England were handed a lifeline in the shape of a penalty by the eagle-eyed assistant referee, who spotted Josip Simunic tugging back Defoe.

The quiet Lampard, with almost his first kick of the game, clinically dispatched the spot-kick to breathe new life into England's campaign.

England seemed keen to gift Croatia another goal as first Bridge cleared on to the top of his own crossbar and then Carson repaired some of the damage by brilliantly saving Olic's point-blank header.

If the script had been written for Beckham to save his country once again, the former captain seemed keen to follow it.

The LA Galaxy midfielder sent over an inch-perfect cross from the right that Crouch expertly chested down and smashed into the bottom corner from seven yards.

Wembley erupted, but there was more drama to come on a remarkable night at the new stadium.

Croatia sent on Petric and with 13 minutes left, he arrowed a fizzing left-foot shot into the corner of Carson's net from 25 yards.

It was what Croatia deserved for a display full of enterprise and heart - and what England deserved for one of their most inept displays in living memory.

The result, coupled with Russia's slender 1-0 win over Andorra, means England will not be going to next summer's tournament in Austria and Switzerland.

England: Carson, Richards, Campbell, Lescott, Bridge, Wright-Phillips (Beckham 46), Gerrard, Barry (Defoe 46), Lampard, Joe Cole (Bent 80), Crouch.
Subs Not Used: James, Ashley Cole, Brown, Hargreaves.

Goals: Lampard 56 pen, Crouch 65.

Croatia: Pletikosa, Corluka, Simic, Robert Kovac, Simunic, Srna, Modric, Nico Kovac, Kranjcar (Pranjic 75), Olic (Rakitic 84), Eduardo (Petric 69).
Subs Not Used: Runje, Babic, Knezevic, Leko.

Booked: Robert Kovac, Eduardo.

Goals: Kranjcar 8, Olic 14, Petric 77.

Att: 88,091.

Ref: Peter Frojdfeldt (Sweden).

See original article at BBC SPORT